Molly and the Bond, James Bond--Escape

After watching Quantum of Solace a few days ago, my attention was naturally caught by a real life adventure that took place in Montana last week. There was escape from certain death, a desperate chase, our hero hopelessly outnumbered by heavily armed villains in pursuit using every advantage modern technology could give them. Time after time there were hair raising escapes. But our hero was not a British Secret Agent, but a 1200 pound cow.

A heifer, nicknamed Molly, was awaiting her fate at a slaughterhouse in Great Falls, Montana when she saw an opportunity for escape. Without hesitation she lept over an ungarded gate and hot hoofed it down a road, just like 007. A few hours later she was seen and reported to the enemy who pursued her through the city finally trapping her between a truck and a fence. Undaunted she bolted through the fence, dodged a murderous SUV, ran across railroad tracks in front of a speeding train, cleverly leaving her hapless pursuers on the wrong side, and ran down a road barely dodging a speeding semi. Unfortunately an icy river lay ahead trapping her between it and her ruthless pursuers who quickly surrounded her and slowly moved in to put and end to her desperate escape. True to the double 'O' tradition, Molly jumped into the freezing water and swam courageously for the far bank once more eluding her now enraged pursuers. Exhausted and sinking slowly she was being swept downriver by a strong current, it looked like the end, but she fought the current and the frigid, muscle numbing water and was rewarded for her courage by finding a sand bar. Molly staggered from the river and walked slowly up the river's sandy bank.

Despite her great courage, the foe were too many and she was again surrounded and hit with a tranquilizer dart, she kept going until hit with two more. Slowed by the powerful drugs sped through her body by her noble heart she was finally captured.

Fortunately, Molly's story gained the attention of the nation and her captures were forced to free her to the owners of an organic farm who kindly granted her sanctuary. She is now retired from the fray and will spend her remaining years in comfort and security as a reward for her courage and determination to be free.

Good on you, Molly.